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My name is Dakota Warren. 

I am not human. I am a monster. I am a God.

I come in the form of words that will swallow you whole. 

I will crack your skull open like a geode and read you like a book. And then when I know your soul, I will turn you into a poem, written in crimson lip liner on a mirror. 

I love cherry chapstick. And danger. And lists. And leopard print. And black dogs and black cats with leopard print collars. And rats. And alone time. And words. And myself. I enjoy the depersonalisation of humans and the personification of anything non-human. I dislike idealism. And silence. And empty parking lots. I don’t take well to authority. I am in love with learning but I cannot be taught. I am impossible and unstoppable. I am what the kids call ‘An Atrocity To God’.

It’s been a pleasure to meet you. 


I’m not quite sure, exactly. Technically speaking, this is a blog. But it is so much more and so much less. Most of all, it is my journal. A collection of memoirs. Make of it what you will.


Time doesn’t exist and all of eternity is taking place at once. But, once again, technically speaking, this blog was started on a rather dreary overcast Sunday evening, 03/02/2019. 4:33pm to be precise. And it shall continue for as long as it takes for me to get bored with it (perhaps hours, perhaps years).


In the middle of the woods, in a tiny house in the hollow of a giant tree, amidst small anthropomorphic woodland animals and woodland nymphs and fairies.

Alternatively, behind a tiny white desk (or more often than not tangled between silken sheets in a white cast iron bed) somewhere in Melbourne, Australia.


I just want to share my moderately cryptic and slightly concerning perspectives on irrelevant topics with the rest of the universe. Is that okay?

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