Who I Was In July

Every day this year I have written a sentence. Here is July.

1// Try not to pay attention to the world ending.

2// I am an ever evolving shape shifting transient being; my evolvement is not linear.

3// I wish I trusted people more. They’re so soft.

4// I wonder what it is like to not feel repulsed by ones own skin. Rather, the obnoxiously vulgar pockets of lard buried beneath.

5// My brain feels like it’s multiplying and then splitting and then growing another brain on top of it then splitting again. Cognitive dissonance kind of night. Perhaps it’s because I’m trying to sleep in a messy room.

6// Cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall.

7// Darkness of the soul cannot be blamed upon the moon’s craters nor the constellations.

8// Stop fucking lying.

9// I can feel my bones inside my skin, under all my blood and guts and flesh. They’re big and they hurt.

10// CLEAN THE SHOWER

11// There’s something strangely comforting and mystical about sitting alone in the dark.

12// Lifedeathrebirth

13// Happy birthday mum. Sorry about existing.

14// I am made up of blood and guts and tears and memories .

15// Stop thinking about it.

16// Do you ever get caught on a word? I linguistically dissociate quite often.

17// I think my sleep paralysis demon had a baby.

18// Whats that smell? Angel corpses in the attic.

19// Why don’t I know my blood type?

20// Big fat faker ugly lying wannabe loser

21// Fuck you I am the world

22// It’s not because I’m a Virgo, it’s because I’m a sociopath.

23// I am an immigrant from outer space

24// I make a lot of silly decisions but I wouldn’t call them bad decisions.

25// Delusional? I’d say dreamy.

26// Please leave me alone

27// Red pill please.

28// Blue pill today.

29// My brain won’t let me write today, sorry.

30// It’s more fun when it’s a secret, anyway. At least I think so.

31// Fuck Utopianism.